Cliche' Cliche', What can I say?

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It's an old cliche', but what can I say? It's true.

As I sat on my bed looking at skinny women on T.V. and looking at pictures of a thinner, perkier me on facebook, I decided that I needed to get fit. My passion drove me to start a blog and go down stairs and work out immediately.

...And I did alright, for a while. But, with no concrete workout or meal plan, I've failed to maintain the same discipline and focus that drove me to take action just a few short days ago.

I've eaten some things I shouldn't have eaten (well, more than some, a lot) over the past few days simply because I'm not disciplined and have no clear marked course or plan of action. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm so far gone from the whole healthy lifestyle concept that I've really convinced myself that a few less potato chips and a few more trips up the steps will be enough to cause a drastic change in my appearance.

Well, reality has set in. Pizza and wings after working out for an hour will not get me back into a size 4 anytime soon.

As I look ahead at the journey before me, I realize that it's not a straight clear path; unless I've got a map...

-Tash

I'd like to thank my mama

So,anyone who knows me in any way knows I'm obsessed with my family. My Dad is my role model and hero, my brother is the coolest guy I know, and my Mom, well, I still haven't found words to describe her.

See, I was blessed with a mother who was born to be a mother. My Mom is the kinda Mom that made cookies just because, put my lunch in a real box with a thermos, and hugged me when I came home crying because other kids made fun of me. In fact, she even picked me up early a couple times...

My mom did one thing that got on my last nerves growing up: she had a rhyme or a corny poem or saying for EVERYTHING. I don't have room enough to write them all!

Now that I've grown up (sort of) I realize just how wise that woman is and the loving lessons and sage knowledge she shares every time she opens her mouth. One of my favorite sayings she says goes like this:

"If a task is once begun, do not stop until it's done. Be the labor great or small, do it well or not at all".

So, I'd like to thank my mama. Not just for being my mom, but for being a good woman and sprinkling some of that wisdom on me! As I embark upon this journey to change my body and in turn, my life, I know I face what appears to be an impossible obstacle for me to conquer. However, as Mama says "do it well or not at all". Well, I'm gonna do it Mama ;)

-Tash

It's not like riding a bike...to me anyway...

So, as always, when you set out to do something major in your life and others find out about it, they automatically start giving you advice. As well intentioned as they may be, it's difficult to get across to folks that your journey is your journey and that no two people are exactly alike.

Some folks have said, "It should be easy for you to get back in the habit of eating right and working out; you're young".

Others have said, "just find something you like to do and you won't mind working out".

Well, I have reached an epiphany folks... here it comes... I HATE WORKING OUT! I always have, and chances are, I might hate it for a while. I'd much rather lie across my bed and watch The Cosby show on DVD while eating mac n cheese. Thanks. Yes, I used to work out but it's not a simple as it used to be. I've become quite complacent with regards to my weight and health and have learned how to dress to cover things up when I need to and eat just enough, or not eat just enough, to stay about the same weight.

So, for me, it's not going to be an easy transition. It's not like riding a bike; in fact I sucked when I learned how to ride a bike too! LOL! But really, I have accepted the fact that my body and metabolism are not the same as they were when I was 17 or even 21. Hopefully, others will too, but if not it, it doesn't matter anyway. I've gotta do this one on my own. So, thanks for the help and advice in advance but frankly, this one's for me!

~Tash

The journey starts with one step

It's been a loooooong time coming but the journey begins now. I'm way too young to be this big. For those of you who've known me for a long time, you know that there was a time when I was barely 100 llbs and that time was not even a decade ago. I have clothes in my closet ranging from size 2 to 16. There's no excuse for it and really, there's no explaination for it.

As a therapist, I help others motivate others to change on a daily basis, yet here I am struggling to overcome something that could potentially kill me if I don't conquer it. Though I am a proud African American woman and I firmly believe in the "I am not my hair, I am not this skin" creed, I understand that my weight is more than a superficial matter.

Don't get me wrong, I am tired of buying new clothes and it's becoming increasingly difficult to cross my legs. I often compare myself to a bowling ball on toothpicks because I'm so top heavy with little legs. I'm over it!

But, just with any major life change, there is deeper meaning and reason. I've never had to struggle much in my life. My mother stayed at home with me and my brother, made my lunch until I graduated from high school and sometimes, still does. I'm a total Daddy's girl (he still calls me princess) and almost every guy I've dated has taken care of me in some way.

But now, I'm at a cross roads. I've got more bills in my name than I ever imagined, I'm single and to be honest, my level of happiness is not as high as I know that it should be. I'm realizing that the fantastic life I've had has been handed to me in a lot of ways and if I'm going to keep having a fantastic life, I'm going to have to work for it... harder than I ever imagined. I've also realized that there is much that I don't have control over and that life is about response, as well as pro-activity.

SO... here it goes. I've taken the easy way out for 26 years. I've set my mind to doing things, and I've done it by the grace of God and with A LOT of support from my family. But this journey; it's just me and God. He's already at the end, so here it goes, my first step. Join me on the journey!

~Tash