The past week was an especially challenging one for me. I faced challenges and stress at work, at school and in my personal life. I felt drained emotionally, physically and psychologically. Therefore it should serve as no surprise that I had the worst food cravings I've had a while.
This past week also confirmed what I've known for quite some time; I am an emotional eater. I'm not saying that eating keeps me from functioning, but I am comforted by food when I'm stressed or anxious. Though I realize I do not bear this burden alone, as I stated in my previous post, it doesn't matter who else eats when they're stressed. My body and my life are all I can control.
So, for the first time in a long time, I didn't call a friend to get drinks and appetizers in an attempt to put my life in perspective. Instead, I powered through a couple of workouts (not as many as I should've but I moved none the less), and still closely watched my food intake, journaling 4 out of 7 days. The days that I didn't journal, I chose foods that I was familiar with calorie and fatwise so as not to throw my caloric intake into a tailspin and sabotage two weeks of hard work. The result: another pound down, officially having lost 20 lbs since the summer of 2012 and 12 pounds so far this year!
I'm not perfect by any means and I would be lying to myself if I said I'd never pick up a slice of pizza when I'm sad again. It'll just be thin crust, with a salad and diet coke as opposed to wings and a margarita :)
~Tash
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
It's Human Nature...
Study after study has shown that humans do not thrive without relationships. It is in our very nature to seek some sort of relationship with something in life. Even those who don't interact with other humans form relationships with animals, or even inanimate objects (that's a different subject).
My point is, whether or not we are conscious of it, we feel some sense of relief or comfort when we are in the company of those with whom we relate, whether it is a relationship of choice (friend or signficant other) or a familial relationship. It is in our very nature as humans to relate to others on some level.
Having healthy relationships and receiving support, affection and validation is usually a very healthy thing. However, in the case of weight loss, it can be a tricky.
I love having the support of others along this journey. In fact; let me take a sentence to pause and say a huge THANK YOU to each person who has taken the time to read my blog, comment on Facebook or tell me in person that they can relate to and support me on my journey. The support of others keeps me accountable and energizes me simultaneously. However, what I and others on this journey must avoid is the natural human tendency to compare ourselves and our weight loss journeys to those of others.
I have been weighing in at work each week along with several of my co-workers. Even though we weigh in privately with the nurse, it's still a natural reaction to discuss how things are going. The sense of competition is kinda fun and can even be motivating. However, the line between competition and comparison is a thin one.
I guess my point is that one must remember to value his or her individual journey in life. It goes back to that whole "the grass is greener on the other side" cliche'. It's important not to lose focus on my own journey because I'm so busy comparing myself to someone else whether they are more, less or equally successful.
When it comes to weight loss, the goal should not be to look like someone else or to beat someone else. In addition, we should not become complacent because someone else has, and we most certainly must refrain from using someone else's lack of progress to excuse or validate our own.
Even though I'm bound and determined to surpass my co-workers and take home "the big pot" at work, I'm more determined to beat the scale. Whether or not my co-workers gain or lose another pound, it's me against the machine (the scale), me against my own body, and me against my natural inclination to quit when the going gets a little tough.
It's me against my human nature. This is one time when I truly don't care what anyone else thinks. Call me self absorbed!
By the way... I've lost 10 pounds ;)
~Tash
My point is, whether or not we are conscious of it, we feel some sense of relief or comfort when we are in the company of those with whom we relate, whether it is a relationship of choice (friend or signficant other) or a familial relationship. It is in our very nature as humans to relate to others on some level.
Having healthy relationships and receiving support, affection and validation is usually a very healthy thing. However, in the case of weight loss, it can be a tricky.
I love having the support of others along this journey. In fact; let me take a sentence to pause and say a huge THANK YOU to each person who has taken the time to read my blog, comment on Facebook or tell me in person that they can relate to and support me on my journey. The support of others keeps me accountable and energizes me simultaneously. However, what I and others on this journey must avoid is the natural human tendency to compare ourselves and our weight loss journeys to those of others.
I have been weighing in at work each week along with several of my co-workers. Even though we weigh in privately with the nurse, it's still a natural reaction to discuss how things are going. The sense of competition is kinda fun and can even be motivating. However, the line between competition and comparison is a thin one.
I guess my point is that one must remember to value his or her individual journey in life. It goes back to that whole "the grass is greener on the other side" cliche'. It's important not to lose focus on my own journey because I'm so busy comparing myself to someone else whether they are more, less or equally successful.
When it comes to weight loss, the goal should not be to look like someone else or to beat someone else. In addition, we should not become complacent because someone else has, and we most certainly must refrain from using someone else's lack of progress to excuse or validate our own.
Even though I'm bound and determined to surpass my co-workers and take home "the big pot" at work, I'm more determined to beat the scale. Whether or not my co-workers gain or lose another pound, it's me against the machine (the scale), me against my own body, and me against my natural inclination to quit when the going gets a little tough.
It's me against my human nature. This is one time when I truly don't care what anyone else thinks. Call me self absorbed!
By the way... I've lost 10 pounds ;)
~Tash
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
By George...I think she's got it this time!
Hey friends, family and people who are bored! Time for another blog. This one will be not nearly as whiny (or at least that's my plan).
This past weekend I faced the first major battle on my road to fabulously fit...a holiday weekend with family and lots of yummy FOOD! In my opinion, you haven't mastered a "lifestyle change" until you've figured out how to perpetuate the change in all facets of your life. If your family is like mine, get togethers include the tastiest, richest, most wonderful food items, a lot of laughs and love, and very little cardio. This weekend was my first attempt to master the change and fun, food and family. So the results are in and...I DIDN'T GAIN A POUND! WAHOOO! Though I didn't lose any weight, this is the first time in a looooong time that I didn't put on some extra weight. This is a BIG DEAL folks. It may not seem like it, but for me, the day after a holiday weekend has always been full of regrets about what I ate and the work out I didn't get in. Here's what I learned (which will be common sense I'm sure).
1. You can't live your life in a restricted manner. Eating is a part of life. Though some people have mastered the whole "eat to live, not live to eat" concept, many of us haven't and that's okay. Food is not life, but it can be an expression of life. The more you tell yourself "I can't eat this, I can't eat this" the more you begin to feel miserable, and miserable feelings lead to binge eating. So, I say eat what you like but manage your portions!
2. No one cares about what or how much you eat more than you do. This weekend, there was beer infused bread, yummy sausage queso dip, lasagna, fried chicken, pork chops...the list goes on. Everyone around me was eating all of it. I did too...but I thought about what I ate. No one told me to cut back on the bread/pasta, pass on dessert and eat more greens and salad, but that's what I did and it kept me from gaining weight. No one can want it for you more than you want it for yourself.
3. Even if you don't work out, you can squeeze in physical activity. I didn't hit the treadmill or do my 45 mins of Zumba, but I managed to get in a lot of walking throughout the weekend. I KNOW this made a difference. If you're going to eat, you need to move. Period.
So today I returned to writing in my food journal, getting my cardio in and closely monitoring my portions. I'm confident I will be back to business in a couple of days. This is a pretty good feeling. I think I've got it this time folks.
One of my wonderful Sorority Sisters wrote something on her Facebook page that was so amazingly simple and profound that I can't help but repeat it: "If you want to stop starting over, stop giving up". That makes too much sense. Thanks Inga.
Feels like the first time,
~Tash
This past weekend I faced the first major battle on my road to fabulously fit...a holiday weekend with family and lots of yummy FOOD! In my opinion, you haven't mastered a "lifestyle change" until you've figured out how to perpetuate the change in all facets of your life. If your family is like mine, get togethers include the tastiest, richest, most wonderful food items, a lot of laughs and love, and very little cardio. This weekend was my first attempt to master the change and fun, food and family. So the results are in and...I DIDN'T GAIN A POUND! WAHOOO! Though I didn't lose any weight, this is the first time in a looooong time that I didn't put on some extra weight. This is a BIG DEAL folks. It may not seem like it, but for me, the day after a holiday weekend has always been full of regrets about what I ate and the work out I didn't get in. Here's what I learned (which will be common sense I'm sure).
1. You can't live your life in a restricted manner. Eating is a part of life. Though some people have mastered the whole "eat to live, not live to eat" concept, many of us haven't and that's okay. Food is not life, but it can be an expression of life. The more you tell yourself "I can't eat this, I can't eat this" the more you begin to feel miserable, and miserable feelings lead to binge eating. So, I say eat what you like but manage your portions!
2. No one cares about what or how much you eat more than you do. This weekend, there was beer infused bread, yummy sausage queso dip, lasagna, fried chicken, pork chops...the list goes on. Everyone around me was eating all of it. I did too...but I thought about what I ate. No one told me to cut back on the bread/pasta, pass on dessert and eat more greens and salad, but that's what I did and it kept me from gaining weight. No one can want it for you more than you want it for yourself.
3. Even if you don't work out, you can squeeze in physical activity. I didn't hit the treadmill or do my 45 mins of Zumba, but I managed to get in a lot of walking throughout the weekend. I KNOW this made a difference. If you're going to eat, you need to move. Period.
So today I returned to writing in my food journal, getting my cardio in and closely monitoring my portions. I'm confident I will be back to business in a couple of days. This is a pretty good feeling. I think I've got it this time folks.
One of my wonderful Sorority Sisters wrote something on her Facebook page that was so amazingly simple and profound that I can't help but repeat it: "If you want to stop starting over, stop giving up". That makes too much sense. Thanks Inga.
Feels like the first time,
~Tash
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Not your average New Year's Resolution...
On November 25, 2013 I will be 30 years old. Anyone who knows me knows my favorite quote "I don't do _____________________ (fill in the blank with some form of debauchery ). I'm almost 30".
In reality, I realize that being 30 is far from getting my AARP card (no offense to my elders). As an unmarried young woman with no children I will be the first to admit that I still enjoy the occassional weekend excursion and I'd like to think that I still know how to have fun (some of my friends may beg to differ and to them I say "shut it" SMILE). However, there is one thing I can no longer do...eat crap and expect to stay healthy/slim.
That's right. It's true; the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to lose weight. There was a time when I could eat...and drink...junk and I wouldn't see a huge change on the scale. If I did gain a couple of pounds I would simply eat salad and drink water for a day or two and drop all that I gained and then some. That was then, this is now.
As I live out the last months of my 20's, I am forced to face the truth. When I look in the mirror I see the evidence of years of eating junk, sleeping when I get around to it, and a lack of consistent physical activity. I also see the results of "dieting". I have clothes in my closet that range from sizes 4 to... never mind. We'll get to that in a later post. Bottom line is, I see a loss of control.
In my work as I counselor, I teach people how to face the problems in their lives and set goals to change what they can. I can set a mean goal. I can tell you about making it specific, making it time based, getting people on your team, etc, etc, etc. I cheer on my students/clients and pride my self on practicing reality based counseling strategies. I'm good at helping other people deal with reality. It's high time I face reality myself when it comes to my weight and the way to address it.
In reality, I don't have control over what my family or friends eat. I don't have control over the unhealthy menu options at most restaurants. I don't have control over the number of hours in the day. These are things that will not change.
I do have control over what I eat, and I have control over my actions and activities throughout the day. So, I'm taking control over my weight and setting a goal: to weigh 130 pounds by my 30th birthday.
I've shared this goal with several of my friends and family members. Some have said that I will be too skinny if I lose that much weight. Some have said that I may be a bit too ambitious. But my parents and my best friend immediately said "You can do it, get it done this year once and for all". To them I say THANK YOU! I love my close friends and family members, but I've been reminded that there is a reason you only share your goals and dreams with those who've proven that they will stand by you in truth and reality. The truth is 130 pounds is a healthy weight for my height and the reality is I'm overweight. So, thank you to those who've tried to be kind and tell me that I look alright and that I don't need to lose weight but, I do and I'm going to.
Changing the name of this blog is evidence of a greater change. I am changing my approach to getting healthy and facing the reality that it may not be as easy as it was when I was 21, 25 or even 28. I have started this blog over in the past but I must admit that I haven't had much of a focus. Now there is a clear end in sight. When I set my sights firmly in a particular direction, there's no stopping me and at the risk of sounding cocky...I usually get what I want. Well size 6 jeans, increased energy and fabulously fit life, I WANT YOU, watch out, I'm coming...
Thanks for reading this. I hope you'll stick around :)
~Tash
In reality, I realize that being 30 is far from getting my AARP card (no offense to my elders). As an unmarried young woman with no children I will be the first to admit that I still enjoy the occassional weekend excursion and I'd like to think that I still know how to have fun (some of my friends may beg to differ and to them I say "shut it" SMILE). However, there is one thing I can no longer do...eat crap and expect to stay healthy/slim.
That's right. It's true; the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to lose weight. There was a time when I could eat...and drink...junk and I wouldn't see a huge change on the scale. If I did gain a couple of pounds I would simply eat salad and drink water for a day or two and drop all that I gained and then some. That was then, this is now.
As I live out the last months of my 20's, I am forced to face the truth. When I look in the mirror I see the evidence of years of eating junk, sleeping when I get around to it, and a lack of consistent physical activity. I also see the results of "dieting". I have clothes in my closet that range from sizes 4 to... never mind. We'll get to that in a later post. Bottom line is, I see a loss of control.
In my work as I counselor, I teach people how to face the problems in their lives and set goals to change what they can. I can set a mean goal. I can tell you about making it specific, making it time based, getting people on your team, etc, etc, etc. I cheer on my students/clients and pride my self on practicing reality based counseling strategies. I'm good at helping other people deal with reality. It's high time I face reality myself when it comes to my weight and the way to address it.
In reality, I don't have control over what my family or friends eat. I don't have control over the unhealthy menu options at most restaurants. I don't have control over the number of hours in the day. These are things that will not change.
I do have control over what I eat, and I have control over my actions and activities throughout the day. So, I'm taking control over my weight and setting a goal: to weigh 130 pounds by my 30th birthday.
I've shared this goal with several of my friends and family members. Some have said that I will be too skinny if I lose that much weight. Some have said that I may be a bit too ambitious. But my parents and my best friend immediately said "You can do it, get it done this year once and for all". To them I say THANK YOU! I love my close friends and family members, but I've been reminded that there is a reason you only share your goals and dreams with those who've proven that they will stand by you in truth and reality. The truth is 130 pounds is a healthy weight for my height and the reality is I'm overweight. So, thank you to those who've tried to be kind and tell me that I look alright and that I don't need to lose weight but, I do and I'm going to.
Changing the name of this blog is evidence of a greater change. I am changing my approach to getting healthy and facing the reality that it may not be as easy as it was when I was 21, 25 or even 28. I have started this blog over in the past but I must admit that I haven't had much of a focus. Now there is a clear end in sight. When I set my sights firmly in a particular direction, there's no stopping me and at the risk of sounding cocky...I usually get what I want. Well size 6 jeans, increased energy and fabulously fit life, I WANT YOU, watch out, I'm coming...
Thanks for reading this. I hope you'll stick around :)
~Tash
Monday, July 16, 2012
Opinions count (You ain't gotta lie to kick it)
Many people say they don't care what other people think of them. People even tell others not to care about other people's opinions. Well, I haven't done any "official" research (maybe I will one day) but I don't think people are being truthful when they say they don't care about the opinion of others. After all, when someone says something positive about us, we have no problem accepting that opinion. Could it be that there is a bit of truth to the negative opinion... hmmmm...
More than a year ago, I wrote about a member of my church family making an unnecessary comment about my being bigger than my mother. I continue to say that was an unnecessary comment because it was something I already knew and accepted. I had just made a comment about my weight, 15 seconds before this person made the comment. However, there are times when someone says something that we don't like, don't want to accept, but know deep down in our hearts to be true.
I guess my point is an advisory one. Don't be so quick to reject a statement just because its not praise. It is true that we shouldn't let the opinions of others ruin our self esteem or inhibit our goals.Someone calling another person "stupid" or "ugly" is ridiculous and no person should believe such comments. However, as intelligent human beings, we know when someone is saying something we know is for our benefit but maybe doesn't feel good registering in the brain.
When it comes to my weight, I don't appreciate people calling me fat or saying things about how much bigger I am than I used to be. These comments are unnecessary because it's simply stating the obvious. However, when someone I love comments about my health or an outfitt looking less than flattering, it is hard to hear, but necessary.
I am challenging myself and my friends and family to think about the last time someone made a comment that you verbally rejected but internally knew had some merit. What made you resist? Fear of failure or worse, fear of success? Fear of loss of control? Fear of change? I know I've resisted for each of those reasons at one time or another. But, God has not given us a spirit of fear. If there's an area that needs change for the better, why not change it? The most important opinion is that of God and yourself. So, step it up; not for the sake of others but for yourself!
**********************************************************************************
By the way, since this is a fitness blog, I should mention that I had my first training session in more than a year with my friend and personal trainer Trinity of Train with Trin, LLC today! My body resisted, but this is one time resistance is not going to win! Can't wait to share the results with everyone!
Loving myself enough to accept the truth,
Tash
More than a year ago, I wrote about a member of my church family making an unnecessary comment about my being bigger than my mother. I continue to say that was an unnecessary comment because it was something I already knew and accepted. I had just made a comment about my weight, 15 seconds before this person made the comment. However, there are times when someone says something that we don't like, don't want to accept, but know deep down in our hearts to be true.
I guess my point is an advisory one. Don't be so quick to reject a statement just because its not praise. It is true that we shouldn't let the opinions of others ruin our self esteem or inhibit our goals.Someone calling another person "stupid" or "ugly" is ridiculous and no person should believe such comments. However, as intelligent human beings, we know when someone is saying something we know is for our benefit but maybe doesn't feel good registering in the brain.
When it comes to my weight, I don't appreciate people calling me fat or saying things about how much bigger I am than I used to be. These comments are unnecessary because it's simply stating the obvious. However, when someone I love comments about my health or an outfitt looking less than flattering, it is hard to hear, but necessary.
I am challenging myself and my friends and family to think about the last time someone made a comment that you verbally rejected but internally knew had some merit. What made you resist? Fear of failure or worse, fear of success? Fear of loss of control? Fear of change? I know I've resisted for each of those reasons at one time or another. But, God has not given us a spirit of fear. If there's an area that needs change for the better, why not change it? The most important opinion is that of God and yourself. So, step it up; not for the sake of others but for yourself!
**********************************************************************************
By the way, since this is a fitness blog, I should mention that I had my first training session in more than a year with my friend and personal trainer Trinity of Train with Trin, LLC today! My body resisted, but this is one time resistance is not going to win! Can't wait to share the results with everyone!
Loving myself enough to accept the truth,
Tash
Monday, July 9, 2012
Divine THINtervention
Everyone who has known me for more than 5 years knows that I used to be thin. If you've known me for more than 10 years, you've seen the drastic change in my weight. Now, I'm not so vain as to think that people sit around talking or thinking about me, but I know at least 2 of my friends/aquaintances have walked away thinking "Dang, I didn't think Natasha would be that big" or "What happened?"
If I'm being honest with myself, I have asked myself "what happened" hundreds of times over the past 10 years. There are some obvious explanations such as poor diet, sleeping and exercise habits. There are also some less visible explanations that I've illuded to in previous blogs. To put it bluntly; things have happened in the past four years that have drained me mentally and spiritually and have manifested physically.
Let me take the liberty of saying that counselors and mental health professionals can be some of the worst self-caretakers. I have many a counselor friend who are wonderful with regards to helping others. We all say the right things and in most cases, we do the right things. But at times, we avoid some of the issues and stressors in our lives because we're busy analyzing and working through the issues in the lives of clients, family and friends.
What I've had to come to grips with over the last two years is that being a counselor does not mean that I am exempt from feeling sad or stressed. It also doesn't make me perfect with regards to handling stress. I will be the first to admit that I have mishandled some of the stressful things with which I've been faced in recent years. At times, I bottled things up. I poured myself into service work or issues my friends or family members have been faced with. I've gone on a few shopping sprees, and I've also done quite a bit of eating along the way. All of these "vices" are simply evidence of the fact that I must face the things that are going on, change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change.
There is a verse in The Bible that says "Faith without works is dead". This doesn't mean that I should get in the way of what God has ordained, but it does mean that certain things are going to require movement on my part. Weight loss and fitness is one of those things.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a friend of mine whose life's work revolves around fitness and healthy living. She sweetly, yet bluntly reminded me of the goals I've set and the "good game" I've been talking but have yet to truly follow through with. She also reminded me that the choice is mine. She invited me to meet with her and ended by saying, "If you choose not to live healthy, that's on you". Talk about a reality check and Divine Intervention. You see the ironic, or shall I say divine, thing is I've been talking about going back to Weight Watchers or rejoining a gym or doing something to get back on track with weight loss. Though I've maintained my weight for a couple of years, I'm no where near what I should weigh and my body is starting to remind me in the form of health problems that my weight is unacceptable.
So in summary, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the divine favor that has been placed in my life and the awesome relationship I have with God. The fact that He divinely places me around people and in cirmcumstances that push me to reach my potential is something I nor any of us should take for granted. Let us not wait until something catastophic or tragic such as loss of a loved one or job, financial stress, broken relationship or illness happens to listen to God and move. It is time to live by this simple model:
If I'm being honest with myself, I have asked myself "what happened" hundreds of times over the past 10 years. There are some obvious explanations such as poor diet, sleeping and exercise habits. There are also some less visible explanations that I've illuded to in previous blogs. To put it bluntly; things have happened in the past four years that have drained me mentally and spiritually and have manifested physically.
Let me take the liberty of saying that counselors and mental health professionals can be some of the worst self-caretakers. I have many a counselor friend who are wonderful with regards to helping others. We all say the right things and in most cases, we do the right things. But at times, we avoid some of the issues and stressors in our lives because we're busy analyzing and working through the issues in the lives of clients, family and friends.
What I've had to come to grips with over the last two years is that being a counselor does not mean that I am exempt from feeling sad or stressed. It also doesn't make me perfect with regards to handling stress. I will be the first to admit that I have mishandled some of the stressful things with which I've been faced in recent years. At times, I bottled things up. I poured myself into service work or issues my friends or family members have been faced with. I've gone on a few shopping sprees, and I've also done quite a bit of eating along the way. All of these "vices" are simply evidence of the fact that I must face the things that are going on, change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change.
There is a verse in The Bible that says "Faith without works is dead". This doesn't mean that I should get in the way of what God has ordained, but it does mean that certain things are going to require movement on my part. Weight loss and fitness is one of those things.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a friend of mine whose life's work revolves around fitness and healthy living. She sweetly, yet bluntly reminded me of the goals I've set and the "good game" I've been talking but have yet to truly follow through with. She also reminded me that the choice is mine. She invited me to meet with her and ended by saying, "If you choose not to live healthy, that's on you". Talk about a reality check and Divine Intervention. You see the ironic, or shall I say divine, thing is I've been talking about going back to Weight Watchers or rejoining a gym or doing something to get back on track with weight loss. Though I've maintained my weight for a couple of years, I'm no where near what I should weigh and my body is starting to remind me in the form of health problems that my weight is unacceptable.
So in summary, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the divine favor that has been placed in my life and the awesome relationship I have with God. The fact that He divinely places me around people and in cirmcumstances that push me to reach my potential is something I nor any of us should take for granted. Let us not wait until something catastophic or tragic such as loss of a loved one or job, financial stress, broken relationship or illness happens to listen to God and move. It is time to live by this simple model:
Praise, Pray, Push, repeat!
-TashMonday, April 2, 2012
A tall glass of truth!
So, first of all, let us state the obvious; I haven't blogged since 2010. The good news is, I actually weigh about the same. Well... I guess that's good and bad news. I definitely planned on being much smaller, but I'm not bigger. I'll take the bitter with the sweet I supposed.
Today I ran/walked 2 miles. I haven't done that in MANY months. It hurt. That's the truth. It is also true that it's going to continue to hurt for a while as my body adjusts to moving more and eating less. My most important truth is, I have walked/ran two days in a row, I'm down 2lbs, and I've lived to blog about it!
So, here's to the truth! It's kind of bitter, but the after taste is SWEET!
Back in the saddle...again!
~Tash
Today I ran/walked 2 miles. I haven't done that in MANY months. It hurt. That's the truth. It is also true that it's going to continue to hurt for a while as my body adjusts to moving more and eating less. My most important truth is, I have walked/ran two days in a row, I'm down 2lbs, and I've lived to blog about it!
So, here's to the truth! It's kind of bitter, but the after taste is SWEET!
Back in the saddle...again!
~Tash
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